Some brief insights on Tisha B'Av
The first time I heard about Tisha B’Av was in my undergraduate university studies, in my Jewish Feminism course where I clearly remember my professor Tirzah Meacham passionately describe this day of mourning. Also during my 4th year Advanced Biblical Hebrew course, we spent the year translating the Book of Jeremiah, which of course is a commentary and prophetic warning written during the exile after Jerusalem was conquered in 586 C.E., and has lots of colourful language and descriptions about the real and dire consequences of not following God’s direction. Here’s a link to learn more about Tisha B’Av.
In my Jewish Planner (my very cool planner and helpful learning tool to learn about the Jewish calendar from Gold Herring), the teaching for the month of Av is all about Tisha B’Av, and invites readers to see this day of community lament and collective trauma through a new lens:
The customs and traditions around Tisha B’Av can be an interesting framework by which to look at mechanisms for communities to cope with trauma, individually and collectively.
While the destruction of the temple was a calamity for the Jewish people, were it not for that destruction, the Judaism of today would not have emerged. In the face of utter annihilation, the Jewish people re-imagined what community could look like centred around a text rather than a physical location. Sometimes it takes the destruction of one thing for another to become possible. Five days after Tisha B’Av is Tu B’Av, a Jewish day of love. Only from a place of brokenness can hope for something new emerge.
This teaching really resonated with me, and reminded me of how many personal experiences I’ve had where I had to let go of attachments/expectations to let come what is wanting/needing to emerge — even when I don’t know what the final outcome will be. From leaving the faith tradition of my youth after 35 years, to leaving my career in criminal law and moving across the country without a solid plan, to leading through the 2016 wildfire and 2020-2021 pandemic and flood, these are just a small sample of personal experiences when I was forced to pivot and extract myself from the comfort of routine and known ways of being, without knowing how it will all work out. But staying and doing the same old thing in response to these crises was not an option.
Further, what I appreciate about Tisha B’Av is that it is both acceptable and healthy to acknowledge sadness and mourning for the loss of what could have been. I often do not allow myself to feel these emotions, and just force myself to keep it positive and keep it moving forward.
But Tisha B’Av is a day that for centuries, all Jews have set aside as a day of collective and communal mourning — how beautiful and powerful is that? Taking time to mourn does not diminish one’s resilience, but indeed it can be restorative to acknowledge such grief and loss, but not dwell for too long in that state of swirling bitterness and sadness. Tisha B’Av is just one day after all, so we can learn that while we can acknowledge our grief, we also need to take action and move forward to deal with our new reality. If our ancient ancestors would have been stuck on continuing to worship at the destroyed Temple, then it is more than likely that Judaism would have not survived (and thrived) as it has for millennia. As Rabbinic Judaism emerged in response to the exile, destruction of the Temple, and the resulting diaspora, so too may we rise up from the ashes of our own personal turmoil and grief, and learn to adapt and find new ways to thrive.